Under the Bridge
by Bison DayCare
Summary: He's twelve and he can't breathe. He's eighteen and he still can't breathe but it's for a new reason. Haru-Centric, with some HaruAki and HaruGou.


**Title:** Under the Bridge  
 **Pairing:** HaruGou, with some HaruAki along the way.  
 **Rating:** M  
 **Warnings:** A splash of sexual situations, though nothing too explicit and it's pretty brief.  
 **Summary:** He's twelve and he can't breathe. He's eighteen and he still can't breathe but it's for a whole new reason. HaruGou with a smudge of HaruAki. Haru-Centric.  
 **Author's Note:** Hello friends! So I was originally writing this cute a fluffy piece only to get distracted and suddenly this happened. So welcome to this Haru-centric piece I wrote to try and get me back in the swing of things. I'm sorry for any inaccuracies, but read and enjoy!

* * *

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ _I do not own Free!_

* * *

He's four and he refuses to get out of the bath. He couldn't tell you what it means, but he knows he's happiest spending time splashing in the shallow water, holding his rubber dolphin in a steady grip.

He cries when his mom has to tear him from the now chilled water, and though he's shivering from the temperature, all he wants to do is fight his way back into the tub.

* * *

He's seventeen and he's swimming again. The pool is cold and he can feel the prickling of the icy temperature against his skin and smell the chlorine and it feels so _right_ he can hardly remember why he gave this up in the first place.

He closes his eyes and ignores the reprimanding calls of his friends, even as the cold begins to catch up with him.

Things are beginning to feel right and though it's scary he's excited and he isn't sure what to make of it.

* * *

He's thirteen and Rin is back. He surprise at his friends return is quickly dashed when he's challenged to a race.

He agrees.

Afterwards, he finds himself wishing he hadn't.

* * *

He's twelve and he has a crush. He knows his heart races when he sees her and tries his best to conceal it, but the girl with the smile too bright and the scarf that's no longer white sees past his cool exterior. He doesn't know it, but he wants her to.

He regrets being so short with her, that day by the river.

* * *

He's fifteen and the ocean doesn't feel the same as it used to. Before water carried with it a weight he shouldn't have been forced to bare, before the heat of the competition spoiled his passion, before he had to give it up to appease his misplaced guilt, he would swim with a reckless abandon.

He thinks of those days often

* * *

He's twelve and he can't breathe. He opens his mouth to yell, he can't remember the last time he did that, but nothing comes out and suddenly he's panicking and everything is black and-

He doesn't want to remember this.

* * *

He's fourteen and he just had his first kiss. Makoto was having a party to celebrate his birthday and, as always, pulled him away from his comfortable solitude to socialize with familiar strangers.

They hadn't see each other since elementary school graduation and though she's almost taller than him and her smile is still too bright, she comes over to him and hugs him tight.

Later when people have started to fade out and the stars captivate their hearts, she leans over and places her lips on his and it's quick but it's _good_. He doesn't want her to pull away and though he feels clumsy he kisses her back.

* * *

He's six and his cousin just threw him in the pool. He hears his mother yell out, panicking, and his father's stumbling over himself trying to throw off his button-down but he's not going under. He moves his arms and legs in the way that seemed to make the most sense and he's soon sitting on the step looking at the shocked faces of his parents and family.

His grandma is the only one who's mouth is closed. Instead of wide and confused, she's smiling in that knowing way she sometimes does, and all he wants to do is run to her.

* * *

He's seventeen and he remembers a knock on his door but he also remembers ignoring it. Later, when his friends pull him away and he sees the girl with the pretty hair and the heart-shaped face he thinks he remembers her but then he _really_ does. She's smaller and so is he but she has the same girlish features and same welcoming smile that puts him at ease and makes him want to-

He's not sure what it makes him want to do.

But he says her name and she beams at him and he's glad he did.

* * *

He's nine and he's joining a swim club. Makoto follows him just like he knew he would and he's annoyed but grateful.

He thinks he's a lone wolf but dolphins are social creatures.

* * *

He's seventeen and he's joining the swim team. It seems so ludicrous but so right. He sends out a mental apology to Rin but keeps at cleaning the grime off the faded tile.

He's tired of running from him.

* * *

He's fifteen and he's at a funeral. He can't help thinking how unfair it all is. Grandma was healthy. She wasn't ready to go. He wasn't ready for her to go. He needs her and his parents aren't even here because of his father's work. He knows he shouldn't blame them but he does and he's not sure where that leaves him.

She got him. She _understood._

She's gone and he misses her _so much_ that when he's home and he's alone he can't keep the sobs from shaking his frame.

* * *

He's seven and his mother put him in sports. She gives up when he repeatedly loses interest after one practice.

* * *

He's seventeen and he's got a crush. He worries because this hasn't happened since Aki and she disappeared.

But Gou's here and she's smiling at him as he floats in the pool and she's kneeling down to talk to him. He knows he's no good at it but for her sake he tries his best and she giggles quietly at his awkward attempts to draw out the conversation. He just wants to reach out and touch her but he's never done that and he doesn't know what she would say or do.

So he keeps his arm submerged and lets his gaze drink in her feminine frame as she makes her way back to the manager's office.

He hopes she doesn't disappear.

* * *

He's seventeen and he's racing and he's losing but he doesn't care. It doesn't matter.

Nothing matters.

* * *

He's newly eighteen and damned if he's not _jealous._

Sousuke is so familiar with her and it's so easy for him. He touches her casually without hesitation and she doesn't pull away. It's stupid and it's petty and all he wants to do is hide her behind his back so no one else can get to her.

He's eighteen and informs Makoto the water doesn't like this guy.

* * *

He's twelve and Makoto's crying and Rin's crying and Aki's crying and his mother is talking to a doctor.

* * *

He's still twelve and he's eating dinner with Rin's family. His younger sister is there and he keeps looking at her but he pretends he's not.

She keeps arguing with Rin about changing her name and though her brother won't concede he makes a mental note to call her that in the future should he see her again.

* * *

He's seventeen and he's swimming with Rin again and it's liberating.

He's glad he has his friend back.

Losing tastes much sweeter than he remembers.

* * *

He's eighteen and his palms are clammy and she's smiling at him in that disarming way again.

Her smile fades when he asks her out on _not a date_ but then it's back and he can finally release the breath he's holding. He agrees to meet at the aquarium at one and suddenly he isn't sure this is a good idea.

He sees her on Saturday armed with a cute dress and pretty blush and all of his doubts melt away.

* * *

He's six and he's quiet but everyone else is loud. He observes all his fellow students talking amongst themselves and sharing crayons and childhood dreams. He's jealous but if anyone said he was he'd deny it with all his might.

Then there's a boy with droopy green eyes and a look that says he doesn't mind the silence- he has enough to say for the both of them.

* * *

He's eighteen and he's kissing her. He can't stop thinking about how Rin will kill him but when she whimpers softly into his mouth he knows he'd do it all over again.

* * *

He's sixteen and high school is scary. He knows he doesn't have long here but he ignores it

He ignores a lot of things.

* * *

He's eighteen and she's naked and he's breathless. He drinks in the sight of her flushed cheeks and the way her breasts rise and fall in rapid succession and it's mesmerizing.

His hands have a mind of their own as they trace over the curves of her figure and she pulls him in for a kiss and he feels like he's parched and she's the only thing that can save him.

* * *

He's seventeen and Makoto's drowning. Or maybe Rei is. He doesn't know but his body moves on its own and he's swimming but it's nothing like it normally is.

Later when he's reunited with his team he's still shaken but hides it well.

* * *

He's eighteen but it's a different eighteen. His thrusts are rhythmic and his heart is beating in time and she's panting to the tune of this intimate song. When they reach the crescendo he forgot he was afraid to love her.

* * *

He's fourteen and he's wondering about the girl with the bright smile and pretty brown eyes. He hasn't seen her since Makoto's party and when he asks his friend informs him that she goes to a school close by.

He isn't sure what to do with that information.

* * *

He's eighteen and he's scared. He looks to the future and it's black and he doesn't know what that means or how to change it and he's screaming at Makoto to leave him alone and-

-suddenly he's twelve and he's drowning and he _does not want to remember this._

* * *

He's seventeen and she's asking him why he swims and he doesn't know.

 _He doesn't know._

* * *

He's eighteen and he can't breathe without her.

He's pushed her away and he's pushed Rin away and he's pushed Makoto away and he hasn't talked to his parents in weeks.

He's on a plane to Australia and in the deepest depths of his soul he hopes something changes.

* * *

He's eighteen and he's racing again and as he raises his head it breaks through the hazy surface of the water. He is greeted by the cheers of the national circuit but also his teammates and he thinks that matters the most.

Before he can help himself he's looking around at the faces that have become so important to him and he's laughing and crying and he feels so _free_ that for once he isn't afraid of his future.

* * *

He's twenty-two and he's still swimming and he can't help but feel overwhelmed at how large the world is. He's in New York and Rin is here and Gou is here and he hears english over the loudspeakers celebrating his victory. He remembers who he was and where he was and now he can almost believe there was a reason for everything.

He thinks about the future and it's not black but bright- and he sees her with him and he is competing and he is no longer afraid.

* * *

 **A/N:** Well that was a ride. I'd love to hear your opinions :)


End file.
